When lockdown started, it felt like the vacation I needed. But then I realized I was about to be inside my tiny space for much longer than expected. It felt challenging to be by myself for so long, especially because I usually go out with friends so that I don’t have to hear myself think.

 

But time passed by. I woke up whenever I wanted to, did some chores, learned how to cook my favorite meals, read about photographers I was interested in, watched a bunch of films, started a daily yoga routine and photographed myself in many  different ways. I always loved self-portraits but I started to get tired of my face, my body, my scars, my fat, my hair. I didn’t want to look at my reflection anymore. I wanted to go out, but I also fell in love with my life as it was: doing the things I loved and having no pressure on my shoulders to get everything done, since everything had come to a pause. It felt so nice.

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I created this series right after lockdown ended and we were allowed to leave the house again. After three months of staying inside, talking to myself, getting to know myself better, I thought about how I was feeling: I still felt stuck inside a bubble. My idea for this photo series was inspired by the feeling of finally of being outside while still feeling trapped. I wanted the images to feel like a dream because that's how it felt to leave the house after three months of not being able to: unreal.